Can You Hear Me Now?

I was busy trying to calculate the odds of sneaking the contents of my grocery cart through the ten-and-under line at my local Stop & Shop yesterday when my cell phone rang. A glance at the LCD display revealed that it was my-daughter-who-shall-remain-nameless-here-or-my-life-will-not-be-worth-living, calling me from her own cell phone. Reprinted below is our conversation, over which I am still puzzling:

HER: “Are you home?”

ME: “No, I’m at the grocery store. And no, I didn’t think a dozen eggs counted as twelve items.” (Note: that last sentence was directed to the huffy person behind me doing a visual frisk of my purchases.)

HER: “Oh, so are you coming back here soon?”

FREEZE FRAME: Notice the use of the phrase, “Back here soon.” TRANSLATION: She was home. She thought I was home. Ergo, when the nameless female-sharing-my-DNA-and-address decided to call me on her cell phone from her room, she thought that we were IN THE SAME HOUSE. But instead of expending an iota of energy and opening the door to yell out “M-O-O-O-O-M?” to get a fix on my location, she racked up precious daytime minutes on both of our cell phones turning them into a crude, expensive version of a global positioning system/walkie talkie.

I’m pretty sure that this wasn’t what Alexander Graham Bell had in mind when he invented the early prototype of this device. And that this exchange doesn't qualify as “urgent” (as in those long ago “I’ll only use it for emergencies” promises) But hey, at least she hasn’t IM’d me to see what’s for dinner…yet.

Comments

Funny that you should mention cellphones today! I was just thinking that recently I am having more important conversations with my kids using a cellphone than in-person. They seem to like the "intimacy" that a cellphone creates...

If u want 2 get thru 2 ur kids, u need to txt them.

uummm...guilty. I have actually called my kids down for dinner via cellphone. I think it's the only time they actually hear me.
ps: don't be jealous. We don't have family dinners very often.

I have IMed people in my own house. It sounds lazy, but it's really more efficient. My logic is that I can simultaneously IM many people at once, but I can only talk to/call/shout at a couple at a time.

And, fine, sometimes going downstais is JUST TOO FAR.

Maybe she spent a long time yelling for you at the top of her lungs without budging from her room before she picked up the cell phone. Is she hoarse?

Mike,
U assume I wanted 2 talk 2 her.

I loved this! I can't tell you how many times my daughter has called me from the next room. I'm not alone! It gets me crazy. I suppose the alternative is having her SCREAM her question from her bedroom to mine...without moving a muscle.

texting is the way 2 the future! :-) i love you blog!

I think that cellphones are now becoming a disposable item,like kleenix. My son now has a "Go Phone" after his cellphone shattered (don't ask) -- what is a "Go Phone" anyway?
And speaking of wavelengths, I just love your Blog! I feel like we could be friends; we think so much alike. Thanks!

Gosh, guess I'm guilty. I text message "Time to eat" to my kids' cell phones every night. We IM from room-to-room, but also with the 2 who are away at college sometimes in a chat room-the 6 of us. Number 7, my husband, has yet to join the fun. And I can't count how many times they've phoned me thinking I'm just upstairs. It IS a different life.

my daughter and i text while she's at college and I'm stuck at my boring job! My sons use their phones like crazy, I am seriously considering getting rid of my home phone. I got 2 calls on it all weekend, and we are a family of 6. Anyone else?

I always loved Irma and I was very happy to read and relate to your very clever blogging. Keep up the humor and mundanity!

ok I'm 22 and sometimes the only time I can get a hold of my parents is to text them!

in-house walkie-talkies are the way to go ... press 1 button & they all hear

hey that's the way i do it, especially if its someone i know, i just use my cell to find them, even in stores, aka wal-mart supercenter, where i "might" know where they are but just in case...i know now exactly(!) where they are.