College Application-Speak 101
It’s that special season again – the leaves are falling, the pumpkins are popping up on front steps, and the parental nagging gets kicked up a notch, especially if you are sharing your home, DNA, last name, and/or credit cards with a high school senior. Is your student embarking on the whole college application thing? If so, as a parent who was where you are now just one year ago, please accept my sincerest condolences. (Not there quite yet or already been-there-done-that? Thank your lucky stars, and keep reading for the chuckle.)
To help get you started, allow me to share with you my own handy dandy glossary of college-speak phrases so that you, too, can talk the talk at the next school open house/neighborhood cocktail party/college night info session. What Webster did for English, Yarnell does for College:
Said to parents by high school college counselor:“College admissions is a process.”
Translation: Yeah, right, and so is root canal and labor, and those are shorter and more fun. Alternate meaning: Stock up on the Xanax.
Said to Parent A by Parent B:“There are lots of wonderful choices.”
Translation: “…for your dolt, maybe, but if my brilliant Natasha doesn’t end up at an Ivy, our lives are over…”
Said to Parent B by Parent A:“Somehow, they all end up where they're meant to be…”
Translation: “...as long as my outstanding Oswald is scooped up Early Decision by Ultra-Elite U.”
Recommended Homework Drill: Practice saying three times per hour to self: "This too shall pass." (Translation: A year from now, you'll look back on the application "process" with a tinge of nostalgia as you calculate just what that new bumper sticker is costing you.)
Comments
don't forget: parent A to parent b: X university wasn't a good fit for Sara. Translation: She partied way too much, and we dragged her sorry butt home.
Hi kmcp, I LOVE your glossary addition. Gives me an idea for a whole new post, too. In the meantime, anyone have any other ideas? Laurie
Better you than me, I did it years ago, and you can have all the fun
Just make friends with your college admissions counselor (or several of them at different schools). I've worked in higher ed for several years now, and I work in admissions and financial assistance for 3 of them. It is a tough position because there is SO much information to know and to impart to parents and students. Call ANYTIME you have questions. That's what they are there for.
I'm that high school senior you're talking about.
Try,
Said Parent A to B: My daughter is still waiting for the results...but we're not worried, you know how applications are like...
Translation: I'm worried as hell, but there's no way I'm gonna tell you my child MIGHT NOT make it to college. Neh.
