The New Suburban SUV/Body Mass Index
So, on the one hand, there was all this uproar in Spain a little while ago barring those models with too low a body/mass index (BMI) from modeling in fashion shows in that country. (The body/mass index? That would be some too-complicated-for-this-mathaphobe formula calculating height and weight that would basically prevent 90% of the planet’s superstar models/waifs from strutting their stuff on the runway).
On the other hand? I read that Banana Republic and some other stores are actually going to start offering sub-zero (“00”) sizes that are even smaller than the size 0 now all the rage with the Nicole Richie-wannabe set. Turns out enough people are taking in their too-big size 0’s (Who are these people anyway? They’re not hanging out at my local mall) to make this a viable proposition money-wise for the retailers (and we all know that that’s what’s fueling the bottom line here, not a burning desire to save fashion x-rays a trip to the tailor).
Okay, maybe I am jealous. The only part of me that would qualify for a sub-zero size would be my earlobe. So instead of the traditional body/mass index, I propose my own suburban version: the “SUV/Body Mass Index.” Basically, this formula would discourage any woman who weighs less than a single tire on her super-mega-sized sports utility vehicle from getting behind the wheel of it. (Hint: If you need a stepstool to step up into the driver’s seat of your SUV, think sedan.)
So, if you have a high enough SUV/BMI, you’d still be able to hop into your sports utility vehicle to go to the mall to pick up some real women-sized (something above a zero) fashions. If your SUV/BMI was too low, however, you’d only be permitted to cruise over to the mall for the purpose of hitting the food court. And hey, while you’re there? Have an extra Cinnabon for moi.
Comments
My daughter recently convinced her 86 y/o grandmother to relinquish the vintage clothes she's held onto for 36 years. Back in the day, what is now a size 2 was a size 10! And I hate SUVs, can never see over them in the passing lane from my little 2 seater Benz.
Avidreader makes an excellent point - I score clothes from my 87-y-o grandmothers' closet every visit, and the sizes are from another planet. By the time our children are in their 30s and 40s, will we be in negative numbers? Or will we have given up on the number system altogether and work in variables of small/medium/large??
My friend dragged me into Abercrombie this past weekend to shop for her daughter. Thank goodness my boys are Gap fanatics, having 'moved on' from A n F. I couldn't beieve how teeny tiny the clothes were. My daughter, now 19, shopped there in middle school, and it has definitely changed! My friend's daughter, clearly a size 9/10 or so, couldn't fit into a large-sized sweater. How pathetic.
The T.V. show "The Greatest Loser" would surely not approve of size 00.
Laurie,
I totally agree on all counts. And as far as your readers are concerned: Abercrombie & Fitch are definitely 'size-ist' as well. Anyone who dresses at A & F are wannabe colonialists anyway. Hope they all get Malaria in those size 0 jodhpurs.
Cheers,
your fellow Diana-phile
