The Offspring's Significant Other Comes to Town
Xmas break. Your college kids come back, sometimes with a full laundry bag, sometimes with an Offspring’s Significant Other in tow. For my friend Laney, a mom of two college-aged sons, having one of their SO’s under her roof recently was a real eye-opener.
Here she graciously shares what she learned:
1. "No matter which nail salon you treat your Offspring’s Significant Other to a manicure in, you can be sure that BOTH of you will know someone there, and then you will have to talk about stuff that you don't want to, like: “Who is this young woman that is with you? A daughter that you have concealed for 21 years? Your husband’s secret girlfriend? Yours?’"
2. "Always be nice to the Offspring’s Significant Other because they have their own cell phone on which they can call to report everything that is going on at that very moment to their own parents. Right in front of you. Hopefully only good stuff but that's only if your child (their boyfriend) is cooperating."
3. "Sleeping Situations: forget about it! No need for guest rooms, extra cottages, or convents. They do what they want to do, when they want to do it -- as long as it's not in your car. In other words, make sure that your kids have a double bed or an air mattress that sleeps two. No comment."
4. "Don't ask questions about anything unless it pertains to where or what you all will be eating out the next night. Don't ask about your own child's health, workload, plans post-college, etc."
The upside? Terrific, x-chromosomed company at the nail salon, chick flick, or to split the salad pizza. And someone else who really gets – and loves – your offspring as much as you do. The manicure: $15. The gift of an almost daughter without the muss and fuss? Priceless.
Comments
I totally relate to the "Significant Other" end of this post! I'm lucky in that my boyfriend's mother is great (and often bakes when she knows I'm coming to town, mmmmmmm bribery), but I've heard horror stories from friends about getting you're-stealing-my-baby death-stares from their SO's mothers.
Yikes! I don't think my mother would EVER be OK with communal sleeping arrangements...well, until after wedded bliss. The SO is relegated to any spot furthest away from me...even if that means the rest of the family has to double up in other bedrooms so that he can have the guest room!
OK -- I'm the mom of a male SO (college-aged) who is at this very moment on a plane going to visit his college girlfriend. My question is: Will my son be banished to the guest room, the den, or a monastery during his visit? Or...???
Maybe I should immediately direct the GF's parents to this blog so that they can vent.
I think your sleeping arrangements are way too cool. I have repeatedly said no to both my son's and daughter's requests to have their friends stay with them in their rooms during their visits with us, with the explanation that I was not running a fraternity house. While my daughter has acquiesced to this more or less gracefully, my son carried on a running argument with me that lasted most of his precious Christmas break. (I think that both of my children might be surprised to learn that in my previous life, I actually did not enjoy arguing about Every Single Thing. They are, of course, the spawn of a lawyer.) When, during the course of this battle, I asked my son if he was allowed to stay in E's room when he visited her, he said, "No, but, Mom, she's a girl." (Note to Gloria Steinem: what's up with this?) Nevertheless, during E's visit with us, which I had the impression went rather well, basically, he managed, much to my amusement, to spend a great deal of time lounging, Hugh Hefner-like, in his pajamas.
