Parenting Primer 101
Someone recently asked me to offer up my best advice for newbie parents about to tackle The World’s Toughest Job. Whoa. Talk about pressure. Frankly, I could think of a zillion things I would have done differently – and I mean no offense to my wonderful, fabulously well-mannered, brilliant, and delightful offspring, only to me, their often short-of-the-mark mother. So, after much reflection, here are my top tips for anyone embarking on that 18+ year adventure popularly known as parenting:
* Try to keep the temper tantrums to a minimum. (They just mess up the make-up and embarrass the kids.)
* Always dress yourself before your little mini-me. (He or she will look adorable in any old thing. You will not.)
* Train your kids to volunteer you for paper products only (and not, say, a fully cooked turkey with all the trimmings, as someone with my DNA and last name did) for the Native American feast.
* Refrain from overindulging in gift wrap paper PTA fundraisers, unless your last name is Claus.
* Ditto Girl Scout sales, unless you don’t care that the only remotely thin thing about you will be the mint cookies you inhale.
* Fake urgent incoming cellphone calls on vibrate during any conversation in which the phrase “academically gifted,” “Mandarin for Munchkins,” and/or “naturally talented athlete” crops up.
* Do not attempt to converse, sing along to the radio, or offer any pleasantries other than “Where to?” and “How much do you need?" when chauffeuring your offspring and their pals.
* Above all, remember to laugh. And that with the exception of lactose intolerance, there’s not much that a little Ben & Jerry’s won’t cure.
PS: Okay, help us all out here. What parenting advice do you wish someone had given you?
Comments
Keep a well stocked supply closet. (colored paper, markers, glue sticks etc.) My son, who always remembered what was on T.V. and when, seemed to forget his projects until the night before they were due. Laurie, thanks for the laughs!
Never forget the time-old adage: "Little children, little problems. Big children, big problems." I used to think that that was "an old wives tale" but trust me, I am quickly becoming one of those "old wives" -- now with quite a bit of experience raising my sons -- so I can honestly attest for the truth in that saying.
For a child that just learned to walk and hold an object in his little hand at the same time....If he can make it to the bathroom with out falling said object will be flushed!!! I love my little guy. All these memories will come in handy one day.
gee, my last name is Claus and I never go overboard with wrapping paper at Christmas--especially the overpriced PTA stuff!
Make them spend time with you in the kitchen while you cook. Someday they may actually be able to make a meal.
Alway's keep your best belongings in high area's comming from a mother with 2 six year old girls and four and two year old boys, I just love my children
Everyone thinks their child is "gifted" until they get to kindergarten.
A friend gave us the best advice when our first child, now 11, was born. I go back to it over and over when I'm tempted to be too critical of other's parenting.
It is simply: Never Say Never
Personal experience breeds tolerance. Just when I'm tsk tsking over another child's behavoir, my kids will come up with a topper! Parenting is humbling.
