Driving While Distracted-By-Daughter

I’m driving along, minding my own business, when the cell phone I’ve stashed on the passenger front seat rings. I’ve forgotten my hands-free thing-a-majig and know I shouldn’t answer it. But a furtive glance at the LCD display shows it’s my female-offspring-who-shall-remain-nameless calling, and the last time I let a call from one of my kids go to voice mail, it was my college Freshman checking in to say hi and oh by the way, they admitted him to the health center with a temperature of 101.

So, against my better judgment, I answered it, just as I was approaching a bridge.

HER: “Hi, Mom. Listen–“
ME: “Oh my God, are you alright? I can’t talk now, I’m in the car–”
HER: “Yeah, I’m fine. Listen, I wanted–“
ME: “I can’t talk now! I'm hanging up! I’m in the car and I’m coming up to a tollbooth–“
HER: “Wait, there was something important I had to ask you. I just can’t remember what–“
ME: “Oh my God, a policeman is stopping me at the tollbooth.” (I drop the phone in my lap.)
HIM: “M’am, I saw you talking on the phone and I should give you a ticket.”
ME: “I KNOW. You are so right, Officer, and it’s all my daughter’s fault. She called me and I TOLD her I couldn’t talk and well, you know how your kids can be sometimes and–“
HIM: “Yeah, well–“
ME: “As long you’re here, Officer, could you please talk to her 'cause she won't listen to me and tell her–“ (I try to hand him the phone.)
HIM: “Um, that’s okay M’am. You try and have a nice day.”

The nice police officer must have his own female offspring at home because he took pity on me, and waved (some would say shooed) me off with a verbal warning. My defense? Driving while-distracted-by-daughter. Feel free to try it sometime. It worked for me.

PS: What getting-out-of-a-ticket talk worked for you?

Comments

You are amazing!! Talking your way out of a ticket! Incredible! That was your lucky day.
The only time I was able to do that (and there have been quite a few times I haven't been able to-including once when I was talking on the phone) was when I was going a bit over the speed limit on a local street and was pulled over. (That dreaded whining of the siren just gives me tachycardia.) I begged the officer not to give me a ticket because "My husband would kill me." He was sympathetic and let me go. Most of the time that does not work.
Did you really ask him to talk to her? You are just so quick and so funny.
By the way, love your blog.

That's a classic!!

I had a car full of 14 year old girls and was trying to approach the Lincoln Tunnel from Times Square. The girls' chatter and the traffic were equally annoying. I made an illegal left turn on a red light. Unfortunately there was a NYC police car around that corner. I whined, "I'm just trying to get home" when oulled over, and the officer retorted "so are we!" but he let me go. Maybe he was equally horrified by the backseat full of adolescents.

I was on my way home after I got a call that my son was sick. I apparently was going a bit fast when I was pulled over. I rapidly explained why I was rushing and the officer said how am I going to believe you? I gave him the phone, showed him the call history. He pushed talk and my son answered and without saying hello yelled what part of I'm getting sick and need help didn't you understand. The officer laughed and said no problem. He let me go luckily.

I was on my way home after I got a call that my son was sick. I apparently was going a bit fast when I was pulled over. I rapidly explained why I was rushing and the officer said how am I going to believe you? I gave him the phone, showed him the call history. He pushed talk and my son answered and without saying hello yelled what part of I'm getting sick and need help didn't you understand. The officer laughed and said no problem. He let me go luckily.

I ran a red light once, because it was one of those ones around a sharp corner that just sort of creeps up on you, and the police man pulled me over and said "do you know what you just did?" I look at him and said "I know, I am so sorry..it won't happen again. I just didn't see it" he said "You know you could get hurt doing that" I said "yes, yes sir..it wont happen again, I promise" he looks at me, smiles and takes my hand and proceeds to slap me on my wrist "don't do it again" he said and walked back to his car. I am not sure that was legal on his part, but I guess I wasn't being very legal either. :-/ less money for me to spend