Mom Talk, Translated

You, too, can develop fluency in mom-talk, thanks to these handy translations of some sample phrases commonly heard at carpool pick-up:

“Really, if they’re happy, that’s all that matters.” (as long as they’re also brilliant and gorgeous and star athlete material)

“Don’t worry, it’s just a 10-minute drive out of your way!” (that is, if it were 2:00 a.m. and no one else was on the road)

“Wow, you look terrific!” (especially because you usually look like roadkill)

“Oh, I just read it over for her and made a few suggestions.” (like that she should let me re-write the whole thing)

PS: So, what phrases did I miss?

Comments

"That's pretty normal behavior for a two year old." (if they're being raised by useless knuckleheads)

So true!

I don't have any homework (translation: the assignment is in a crumpled ball at the bottom of my backpack and my friend and I will do it over text message at midnight tonight)