Poll: What kind of mom are you?

Not sure where you fit in? See what our expert Laurie Yarnell has to say about the issue and take our quiz to find out if your an Alpha mom or a Slacker mom.

Comments

I always buy matching socks, but that doesn't mean that my kid puts them on that way. Does that make me an alpha mom or a slacker mom? And what does that make my kid???

Hey Beth, Think that makes you - and your kid - human! How refreshing! Thanks for writing. Cheers, Laurie

I always bought large quantities of the same kind of white sport socks for my boys. This way there was no pain or anguish when one of the socks went missing in the Washing Machine/Dryer Abyss -- a sock mate was always available.

I don't even want to be an alpha mom. They annoy me! My kids are happy, dirty, playful, loving, mismatched, smart,, resiliant and wonderful! Thanks for your wonderful blogs!

I have an 11 year old, a 6 year old, and 3 year old twins. I must say, first of all, I am SOOO thankful for summer and sandals! I, like one of your other moms, only buy white socks and I do try, for a minute or two, to try and find a couple that match. But alas, if the laundry gods don't look down on me I don't hesitate to throw the kids in one calf-length and one ankle-length, call it a day, and get onto the tedious business of loading up the van.

This is an incredibily stupid thing to use to measure someone's parenting skills. I sometimes wonder if the media is bored and trying to create another issue to debate.

Well, I was wrong. I'm a slacker according to the 6 silly questions. I still think I'm a bit of both. I have 2 girls 16 & 13. God help me! They are smart, outgoing, independent scholastic acheivers and down right moody :)

I am proud to be a Beta mom. But I am a little insulted by the term "slacker mom". Slacker implies that I fall down on the job. I in no way fall down on the job of parenting, just the housework!!! But with 4 kids and a full time job show me one mom with a clean house and I will show you a mom with a nanny and a housekeeper. No thanks, I would rather spend the money needed for a housekeeper on a movie or bowling with the kids. The dishes can wait!

I am an Alpha mom but I wear jeans and tank tops always. My child is always dresses well but I think I am too. I don't think that makes me better than a Beta mom I hate the term Slacker mom. I just don't need to wear nice clothing to stay home and my husband has a landscape business so no fancy dinners. But I still work very hard at being the best mom I can I don't think there is a real difference between alpha and beta moms. We are all just moms living our lives.

I am an Alpha mom and proud of it. There are times when I realize I should be a bit more of a slacker mom and let my kids make mistakes. As Alice said we are all moms living our lives and love our children very much!

I am an Alpha mom, and very proud of that, I believe in letting children learn from their own experiences but I also believe in sending my children into the world prepared for what they may encounter. That to me is what is most important, teaching our children that they have choices an options and that no matter their decisions are there will be a consequence!!

I think the whole topic is disturbing in the fact that I actually took time out of my day to entertain the notion that "moms" are one way or the other. To leave no room for a middle option is ridiculous in concept, and leaves MANY moms out of the mix. There's something to be said for being pretentious and keeping up with the Jones' through your child, and another for not caring at all what your child does. It sounds like Alpha moms have too much time and money and the Slacker moms just don't care. Maybe these definitons should be more accurately defined and presented in a realistic way.

Well, according to the poll, I am a Beta mom. I consider myself in between. I am a single mom of 2, 14yr boy and 12yr girl. Where I am not the field trip co-ordinator, I am definately not the "shug the reposnsibiliy on someone eles." Both my children are honor students, and they do their OWN homework. I'll look it over, but if they want to turn it in uncorrected or messy, they know there are consequences. They are honest, well fed, well mannered, and yes, sometimes their socks don't match. (They don't smell bad either)!!!!!!!!

I would like to start off by saying that I took the quiz and the options to choose from are absolutely ridiculous!!! I wouldn't do either! I like so many other mom's that I know, consider myself a bit of both. I am caring and responsible but not anal and overprotective. For example, I cook fresh food for my daughter 4 out of 5 times a week and not all of it is organic and I am proud of the fact that my one year old doesn't necesarilly eat from a plate. She's a year old! She'll learn it eventually! I also put the seatbelt on my daughter in the shopping cart, but don't use those stupid shopping cart cushion protectors. My daughter has had one cold in her life that she caught from me. I am proud of the fact that I don't have her in a bubble. I think I am both Alpha and Beta........so I guess Balpha! Haha. Oh, and the whole overprotective, anal perfectionist mom thing is just plain assanine and annoying. Like one of the ladies interviewed on the Today Show said, your children are people, not projects.

I am a alpha mom....I have a career a 4 month old and can do it all. I run my household like a business....we all get to where we have to go ontime and looking good.

We shouldn't read an article or take a quiz, and allow that to cause polarization between moms. That is silly and it doesn't help anyone. Any moms can and should be any type depending on what is best for her family at a given time. To allow a quiz to put us in categories and "fuel mommy wars" is ridiculous. Nobody wins and everybody feels that they are "not enough" of something- that they "lack" in either maturity or playfulness. Whoever comes up with these labels hurts all women. I have two beautiful daughters, and I am going to teach them that they can be fun, mature, responsible and attractive all at the same time! I'm not going to have "the pretty one" or "the smart one" or "the social one." We can't be perfect, but we can strengthen our weaknesses and be supportive of others who are different from us.
That said- funny quiz, but may be harmful to people who take it too seriously.

I'm an alpha in some ways and a beta in others. I let all the alphas get their jollies fundraising and coordinating. I'm the one organizing the out of school social events like small picnics and trips to see plays. My focuses are showing them that not everyone is as fortunate as they are, teaching good manners by example and trying to raise well-behaved but independent thinking kids.

I find this whole dichotomy very silly and a bit disturbing - if you are going to use the term 'slacker' then you should use 'anal moms' for the opposite - 'slacker' is really pejorative while 'alpha' has a much more positive connotation. Certainly most people fall somewhere in the middle and each 'side' can learn from each other, but by using the term 'slacker' you definitely create a hierarchy that seems unfortunate.

I'm better than those other moms because I'm an alpha!!!- no I'm better than those other moms because I'm a beta!!!

Thank you, Jenny, for just summing up the complete STUPIDITY of this whole subject so succintly. Is there really that much of a dearth of quality subject-matter that relates to parenting issues, that we just have to keep inventing conflicts for a non-existent "Mommy War?" Come ON.

Uh, that would be "succinct," not "succint." Guess I'm a Beta Proofreader.

The mom that you describe as a so-called slacker sounds like a mom who just isn't perfect, which is the category we all fall in. That doesn't make her a slacker. On the other side, I'm offended by how the Alpha mom is portrayed also. Unfortunately, when someone is trying to strive for excellence, she's often seen as a miss goodie two shoes etc... Our different parenting styles should be embraced not criticized.

I'm definitely a Beta/Slacker mom...my kids are old enough to know right from wrong AND they can do their own laundry, clean their own rooms,etc. I totally agree that ALL mom-types should be embraced...

The mom that you describe as a so-called slacker sounds like a mom who just isn't perfect, which is the category we all fall in. That doesn't make her a slacker. On the other side, I'm offended by how the Alpha mom is portrayed also. Unfortunately, when someone is trying to strive for excellence, she's often seen as a miss goodie two shoes etc... Our different parenting styles should be embraced not criticized.

Mom's are not perfect. The results state that I am an Alpha mom. I like things in their place and I have two active boys so striving to keep thing together is method to madness so I flex (a little). Slacker tendencies we all have but we try to stay responsible and teach the same.

i am neither i like the socks and clothes to match but other things i am relaxed with

You can guess what kind of mom I am by my name. It was supposed to be tongue and cheek but now there is an actual label that I can't live up to. I'm really a little of both but I prefer to be seen as a slacker because I don't sweat the small stuff. I'm not striving for perfect kids or to be a perfect mom. I just follow my gut and do what works best for my family.

Thank goodness we are all different types of Moms so that we raise different children and provide different assets to the community our children are raised in - it allows those who want to fundraise and those who to organize picnics, etc and we all benefit. We all need to appreciate our strengths and the strengths of others. The quiz was completely useless and a waste of valuable time! We are all doing what we we feel is in the best interest of our children and that is all we can do!

Well said, Busymom.

I am a Slacker Mom of 2 kids,ages 4 and 5, and proud of it. If you obsess over every little thing your kid does, you're gonna drive yourself nuts. My kids basically raise themselves. They get dirty,argue, play, and are average kids. I take the approach as this: As long as they are well-fed, dressed decently, behaving okay and nothing is bleeding or on fire, let them go. They will learn to be independent and they will learn from their mistakes. And as long as the socks are a matching color, it doesn't bother me any!

Kids need a little breathing room and they also need to be called out (respectfully) on their inappropriate behavior. What they're wearing during all that doesn't make a difference, since I usually let them decide what they want to wear themselves (it's a good gauge of how well I'm doing and what images my kids are being exposed to). I can see some women taking this meaningless quiz way too seriously, and being too quick to label themselves. I'm neither a slacker or an alpha or a beta or a VHS mother. I parent my kids and allow them to be individuals, and I provide a variety of interesting, safe and relatively clean environments for them to take risks. Having said that, that lady in the zebra print shirt on the Today show was the scariest thing ever BTW. But it takes all kinds.

Why can't this just be taken as good fun & entertaining? That is how I read it... but my daughter is 16 months so maybe I need more time before things like this get me fired up!! :)

Thanks, Kim. I couldn't have said it better! The poll/quiz was meant as a lighthearted pastime, more tongue-in-cheek than serious. Thanks for reading and writing! Cheers, Laurie

Women judging one another, labelling, seeking hierarchy, is indicative of how WE, not patriarchy, can be our own worse oppressors.

The whole phenomena of mothers who are ardently focused on their children's appearance/accomplishments/whatever isn't new.

I suspect that a lot of Alpha mothers are basically living through their children, trying to look "good", or (unsuccessfully) attempting to fill a "need to be needed". A lot of them want to be praised by their children or other people for this idealized vision. I don't believe that it's basically motivated by selfless giving to their children. I think it's VERY unhealthy for the children. Betty Freidan discussed this waaaaay back when in The Feminine Mystique- it hasn't changed.

That said, I think anything a woman openly, honestly chooses to do for herself or her children is a good thing. That might be staying at home, actively participating in school, etc. If it's TRULY for good. But that may actually look way more "slacker" than "alpha".

I agree with veggiemom. It is another role in the ever growing expectations of women to do it all. Career alone does not always allow for glitter and veg garden time,keeping a home Martha Stewart perfect usually means no kids yet...

The quiz was extremely stupid, in that the extreme choices were both wrong in all cases...for most of us healthy Mom's I think. Where is the balance? I felt forced to choose answers that were not who I am at all, ended up an Alpha Mom when in fact I strive for the balance between the two, and to preserve my self hood to the point of when my beloved child becomes independent and naturally makes his own life...I need to still be me, all my hopes and dreams and service to others still sharp. It is so much more interesting to maintain your skills than to scramble to get them back when the empty nest time comes...your children learn from what you do...so don't forget to take care of yourself, by this they will learn to care for themselves.

I am apparently a "Slacker Mom", but let me just say this. I have 2 children. A 6 yr old boy with ADHD, and a 2yr old Girl who was born 3 months premature and is disabled. My children are beautiful, intelligent, loving, sweet, caring, and (usually) clean. They always have clean clothes, they are always well-fed, they get regular baths. They are allowed to make their own mistakes, but I am always watching them make them. I allow my children to have their own personalities and do not order them to please me. They both have manners and are careful of others feelings. If my daughter wants to wear green pants with a red and purple shirt, I let her. It makes her happy. I teach my children to do what they feel is right and give them the tools to make those decisions. I teach them to be honest and be true to themselves. I never miss an opportunity to read to them, (vaccuum, what?)and they are secure in the knowledge that they are loved! I, like the rest of you, am a GREAT mom, that is what defines my mothering style.

I'm a combo mom. It depends on the situation. My baby is 18 now and in college, and yes we had to push and pull to get all the homework done on time. But, she is one of those kids who will make mom & dad tear out our hair sometimes. We also have people tell us what a wonderful young woman she is (brag, brag).

We decided early on that we would choose our battles carefully, and since I don't like to pet sweaty stuff, I don't sweat the petty stuff either. She was a competitive gymnast for 5 years, and that takes a lot of focus and determination. She learned some awesome life lessons from gymnastics, and in many ways, we grew with her.

I just took the quiz and it turns out i'm an alpha mom and I"m only 25! Believe me..the only reason i'm an alpha mom in my opinion is because my 2 y/o is happy and well taken care of. I'm also a single full time mom, so my housework get piled up to the skies as well..I just the other day finished cleaning the house. Its a ritual that works well for me and my son and I wouldn't have it any other way. So I concider my self to be an alpha mom based on all of this instead of some silly questions. I'm not perfect but I do concider myself a great parent. I have a happy, smart well adapted child to prove that.

LOL, laugh a little! I'm supposed to be an alpha mom - that's funny! I have four kids and a tight to do list, yes. I have goals for my children, but they are reasonable - to be happy, loved, spiritually strong and good world citizens. We make good choices if we can, but we mess up ALL the time, and we try to have fun either way! Don't get offended if you don't like the results on your screen - by the choices they gave, this is supposed to be a fun and nonthreatening way to reflect upon what works for you and what you can share with or gain from others in discussion. By the way, I toss out ALL socks at Christmas and everyone gets a bunch of identical socks that look different from everyone else in the family's. I don't have time to sort, LOL! If you streamline this way, you can get more done, usually for less money, less hassle, and you get more time to spend making memories. I'm not really an alpha mom at all - I'm a beta who learned how to practice defense!

Well, considering my own socks do not always match and I've made it this far in life, I'm sure once my 6 month old needs to wear socks, I'm sure there will be days with unmatching socks! Among other things...certain things just don't matter. You need to focus on the important things like raising a well-mannered, healthy, happy child:)

I am a gr. grandparent and now I know why my granddaughter is so overtired and wonders why this and that? Too much media on HOW to do everything. Her kids are absolutely wonderful and I think she needs to enjoy and relax with them as all too soon they are grown up. What is with this comparison of what type of Mom you are? OMG, it is the dumbest! Please don't write the book and preach for all MOMS and feel those are the answers. All families are different and each little character is unique. Be a happy Mom and everything will follow!

I find this very interesting. As a mother of four boys ranging from 17 to 6, I think it's important to let your kids play and have fun. I am considered a "Slacker" because I don't grow my own veggies or tell every child on the field trip how to dress??? That doesn't make sense. I agree with the others that the choices were ridiculous, because I wouldn't be leaving others to do my job as a parent either. My kids are up, dressed and out to school on time. I follow their progress in school and there are consequences for low grades in my house. I have three teenagers who have not been in trouble outside of low grades and one time of sneaking out of the house. My house is always picked up, and usually clean. We eat dinner as a family almost every night of the month. I know my children's friends and talk to the friends as well as my own children. Parenting is difficult. It's more important that we do our best and remember that we only have 18 years to get them ready for the world - and it goes by FAST!

I didn't realise matching socks were so important! I very rarely wear a matching pair myself, let alone managing to get my two-year-old into them. As long as they're keeping the feet warm, who cares?

The quiz says I am an Alpha mom, my stress level confirms it too, though there have been times my daughter has gone to school with her drinking glass left in the dryer or I have left my lunch box lying in the street!!! hurrying to pick her from school at the last minute!! one thing I know is that alpha, beta or whatever my personal life is a mess, I am overworked and sooooooo tired and deep down I feel I am not giving enough time to the little angle! HELP! As for the socks... Thanks God my 6 year old is so fashion conscious she takes care of matching them herself!!(LOL)

I'm a Mom, neither slacker or alpha. I make sure my kids are fed, as clean as can be, and my house can look immaculate or like a hurricane hit it. It all depends on what else needs to be done that day. My children are taught to do their chores, homework and to clean up after themselves (as best they can, we have a 5 yr. old, 8 yr. old and 18 yr. old). From experience with our oldest we've come to realize that they dolearn what they are taught, my daughter knows how to cook for herself, do laundry, balance a checkbook and still get good grades, without us being there to nag her about any of it. Does that make her an alpha type or just person trying to do well and keep herself above water? Treating our children with love and respect is what go her where she is and I hope that my parenting style affects the boys the same way! Love your kids and enjoy them, that's what I say, the rest, well sometimes you don't even need socks :)!!

I am a single alpha mom with limits. I try to do it all but it is really impossible. I work full time and have a 4 year old in pre-school. The more I do try to pull everything off I forget to carve the pumpkin on Halloween. So a balance is needed in there or all alpha moms will go crazy. We are not machines. We are all loving, nurturing beings who love and work hard for our children. Their happiness is ultimately what is most important to all of us. True slacker moms make me sad- but I really doubt slacker moms would even care about a blog/test about parenting would they??!

I used to be an alpha mom - but then my babies turned 4 (twins).. being a slackermom now, gives me some alone-time, which every mom knows is ESSENTIAL AS BREATHING..!!!
My hubby has taken over as alpha-dad.. Everything got better when he started being alpha-dad... My girls are now 6yo, so far - so good...
But their socks still don't match..

I only buy grey sweat sport socks for my two boys; the same make all the time, year in, and year out. I don't have to worry if they match, because they always will. But, now that I have typed this, I still end up with an odd number of socks at the end of a wash day.

i am considered an alpha mom. so what i like my kid to eat healthy and dress properly. who doesn't want there kid to look awesome at all times

I object to the term slacker and the quiz questions were rediculous. All of my girls are happy and well adjusted. I do try to have them dressed well so people don't think I am a bad parent. That said my 3 y/o only wants to wear her dress up clothes everywhere, oh well. At least they are clean and covered!

I'M AM A SLACKER MOM BUT, MY KIDS ARE VERY WELL TAKEN CARE OF!

I am a mother of 4 boys and sometimes it is very difficult to keep them all happy but I do my best and yes they always have matching socks. What kind of mom would I be if they didn't look their best all the time. That would be a poor reflection on me.

I'am a slacker mom!!!! and proud of it I have 3 kids a 7 yr a 2 yr and 8month old and if my kids are happy I'am happy. If that means playing in the dirt so be it as long they are not eating it I'am okay. I'am so tired of the soccer moms whom focus so much on trying to control everything . And critic moms who are not like them. Some need a life outside of that circle.

I'm an ALPHA MOM!!!! I always make sure my baby girl has everything she needs and that shes happy! Even though shes only 3 months and 4 days old I would give her the world if I could!

Socks and clothes have to match if you are going out to do something besides play in the dirt. My 5 month old son wears matching clothes now. If the colors don't match or I can see a color difference clearly, then he won't wear it. I have always been picky about clothes. I don't like wearing clothes with stains and holes in them. I definitely know I am in for it though. I will just buy a lot of laundry detergent, bleach, and stain remover.

i think i am a combination of both sometimes. cuz some things i am real anal about and it has to be a certain way....and other times i'm like" oh that'll work.." i notice that i am less nervous or paranoid should i say, about things. whereas when he was first born...i wouldn't even let my own family babysit him! whats happening? do i love him less?

i think i am a combination of both sometimes. cuz some things i am real anal about and it has to be a certain way....and other times i'm like" oh that'll work.." i notice that i am less nervous or paranoid should i say, about things. whereas when he was first born...i wouldn't even let my own family babysit him! whats happening? do i love him less?

I enjoyed the poll questions, they were quite useful and fun. It made me appreciate what I do for my son & family. The term 'slacker' doesn't mean you're totally useless, it simply means 'relaxed'.

nononono if I'm a slacker mom that doesn't mean I don't dress my kids in matching socks. they are always matching I would feel terrible if they went out a mess and it never happened. lol that quiz can't tell. Who brings fresh veggies from their garden everyone I bet has that phase in just Bringing A Snack in not fresh veggies I see my self both but they say slacker. Those questions don't apply to me thats not my life style.

I think am a combination of both at times. However,being a slacker dosent mean that u dont care how they do or things they say. I just try to be involved in my child life as much as possible.

I think we take these quizes to see how we measure up with other moms. In some ways we want to make sure we are alike. And we are. Moms who love our children and depending on our personality and the personality of our child(ren) raise them accordingly. Yes these quizes are silly but admit it- they are fun. It gives us a break. Laugh it off, make a comment and have a wonderful day. At the end we are all GREAT moms- diffrent- but great.

I took the quiz for the fun of it, just to see what it would say. I have to agree with a lot of the other mom's that I'm somewhere in between. A lot of the options for the questions didn't really apply to me. I just picked what was at least a smidgen close! It said I'm an Alpha mom, but I don't think I am, I know I'm not a slacker either! We are all our own person contrary to what others might think of us.

Soo the test says I'm an "Alpha" mom, as I was reading I noticed some "Slacker" moms put "Alpha" moms to shame, its not like we're like Stepford wives or something...I am married, we have 2 kids, and yes my house is clean/neat, I work (even while finishing my degree last summer), my kids (a baby and a toddler) look pretty neat 98% of the time, annnnd we have fun..we are still a normal, sometimes silly family. All circumstances and situations are different, it doesnt mean I dont slack at certain things but I shouldnt feel ashamed for all the hard work I do all around.. :)

P.S. With No Babysitters or Housekeeping!! Only working as a team, my husband and I...lol

I don't consider myself to be an Alpha Mom, like this quiz does. I make sure I am on top of things, but am not that perfect. My husband and I share all the responsibilities, so if I am the "Alpha Mom" then my husband is the "Alpha Dad"!!!

I got dubbed an Alpha Mom, but I think I really fall more into the both category. While I do a lot with my child (8) (& 1 on the way), he is allowed to make mistakes and make choices. I don't always agree with how he dresses, but I let it be unless he is wearing pants and it's 90 degrees out. My house is not emmaculate, but I can find what we need. I think ALL moms work hard regardless of the label given.

Well, the quiz says that I'm an alpha mom. I always try to do whats best for my 3 boys. It's really hard right now considering I'm 8 months pregnant with my 1st baby girl. I am happy to know that I'm still doing okay. Thanks for the quiz!